We'll be approaching the coronavirus outbreak with a five-level scale of response based on government advice and local infection rates that will be posted to this website's homepage until such time as the issue has passed...


COVCON5
Alert level 5: Business activities continue as normal, albeit with heightened hygiene precautions.

 

COVCON4 
Alert level 4: Selected work on pre-existing bookings and for emergency callouts.
New enquiries are welcome, but they and existing sites deemed to be a higher risk may be postponed.
Work on 'safe sites' such as uninhabited properties and exterior electrics take precedence.
Free emergency callouts for critical sites such as NHS and emergency services.
Elderly or vulnerable clients prioritised.

 

COVCON3
Alert level 3: Emergency callouts only. Conditions apply.
Free emergency callouts for critical sites such as NHS and emergency services.
Elderly or vulnerable clients prioritised.

 

COVCON2
Alert level 2: The bugger's got us. We're down for the count.

 

COVCON1
Alert level 1: Ironically, if we're dead, then nobody will be around to upload this image to the homepage.

 

Timeline:

March 14th 2020: Alert level at COVCON 5
March 18th 2020: Alert level changed to COVCON 4
March 23rd 2020: Alert level changed to COVCON 3 (present)
May 11th 2020: BoJo and his cronies copy my idea, but reverse the scale to make it look original with level 1 being safest, level 5 being worst. Like that's not totally arse about face.
May 25th 2020: Alert level downgraded back to COVCON 4. From 26th May, we'll be largely operating as normal.