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Oh yes! Twelve months on from the last successful Electrician's Podcast curry neet, another anal *annual* ASS-BASH is open to the Elite Sparky Krew to coincide with Elex Coventry. If you were at last year's shindig then you already know how Goddamn great it was. If you missed out like a loser or some kind of fool, well friend here's your chance to get back in with the IN crowd like Jamie and Fat Sam*, after all, we've got great food, great booze, great company - Great Scott, what's not to like?! But don't take my drunken word for it, check out these 100% genuine testimonials:
 

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"Was I there? I don't remember. I think I might have been there...?
Was I drunk?"
  "I was gonna attend... but some bitch got outta line. Had to take care of the mother fucker..."    "I didn't go to your stupid fucking curry night. Stop phoning me."
Linda M., Sheffield   Mark A., Driffield   Nick B., Stafford

 

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Thursday 11th September 2025, day one of Elex Coventry. Jamie and Fat Sam* will be there from 19:00!

 

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 De Laban, 82 Dawlish Drive, Coventry, CV3 5NA (same sweeeeet venue as last year bro's and ho's).

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Lift up the VIP rope and wave your platinum pass in front of the doormen folks because you'll have access to the fuckiiiiin' electrical A-list! Besides Jamie and Fat Sam*, we'll have all the industry greats at this year's shindig! Well, I mean, obviously not Nick Bundy of course... and I guess Jordan Farley skipping it goes without saying. Kimmy's a possible... maybe. Oh, oh, but we got that guy from Instagram - you know, the one who does the thing! Come on, you know who I mean - that funny looking twat... Jesus, his feckin' name escapes me, but he was punting Milwaukee gear for a while. Or was it Hilti?

Whatever, anyway, if I hadn't mentioned, Jamie and Fat Sam* will be there!

 

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We'll have some games on the night including (apparently) a raffle at a quid an entry or £5 for a strip to win what Jamie calls "the worst prize in the world" but which the likes of me and Fat Sam* know fuck-all about. I suggested calling it "Win a bag of wank" but I was shouted down and I'm still somewhat bitter about it. Anyway, we'll try to think of other jollies such as 'Sellotape the sponsor on the SOTA' or 'Who can wallop the shit out of the Octopus EV piñata' or 'Who can sit through a Delroy video the longest without face-palming'... or something. Maybe.

 

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The price per-head is £25 for up to three-courses. So, here's the deal: You fork over the quids to Jamie by 1st September using this secure payment link and he promises not to blow it on steroids or porn. That guarantees your bum on a restaurant seat. On the night, you'll be checked in and your food and any complimentary drinks provided by our genial host are covered. There are no refunds. If you couldn't make it because some dingus at Rhino Trade Insurance offered you oral sex for Tik-Tok clicks, then bad luck pal, the restaurant still gets your cash leaving you 25 coins out-of-pocket. Payment is a 'seat' charge covering the price of entry and your grub, therefore It's up to you to show up, chow down, and walk away with a doggy bag if your eyes turn out to be bigger than your beer-gut.

Anyone turning up on the night without prior notice or pre-payment will be responsible for covering their own meal costs at face value from the menu... if there's room to accommodate them!

 

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Buy your booze from the restaurant's bar, respect the staff who are honorary ESK members trying to keep it real for the rest of us, and keep it congenial among your peers (even Fat Sam*). Anyone disrespecting either the venue or our ESK principles will face the wrath of the collective with neither favour nor mercy.

 

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Wuh? You're a biffin? So, what do you want, a fucking Blue Peter badge?? If you've any allergies or intolerences, be sure to confirm with the restaurant at the time of ordering, otherwise it's entirely your own fault if you munch on something that dilates your anus and makes your dinner plop out onto the carpet.

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Well, jolly good show! Cough up a.s.a.p. as it's a first-come-first-served deal and the joint has restricted occupancy, so if you're game then don't piss around. Oh, and when making your payment, please fill out this form Jamie has put together so he can keep track of attendees!

 

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Oh, sure. Those who have traditionally been friends with the ESK, such as Chauvin Arnoux, are welcome to attend. Anyone willing to muddy their boots at this lowly end of the industry can join in - Jamie and Fat Sam* are always happy to engage with the wider electrical world. It would be nice if any corporates could also provide promo materials or prizes for attendees but it's not essential.

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Sure Jamie, I'll... oh for fucks sake....

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*Turns out Fat Sam can't make it.